Is your unconscious driving the leader in you?

Monday, January 18th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Recap of Leadership Quick Tip for January 18, 2010: Fears often control your responses as a leader

If you want to be an effective leader
Wisdom alone will not get you there
You must find the courage to face your fears

You have fears
We all do
The fear of failure
The fear of conflict
The fear of change
The fear of not being liked
The fear of being wrong
The fear of rocking the boat
The fear of not being wanted
The fear of taking a risk
And the list goes on

The problem is this
Your fears have become a part of you
You’ve grown comfortable with them
You don’t fight them anymore
Instead you duck and dodge
Avoiding the things you fear
This is the way you cope
Avoidance has become an unconscious habit

If you fear conflict as a leader
You avoid confronting a problem employee
If you’re afraid to take a risk
You pass on a creative solution
If you are afraid to rock the boat
You don’t

You decide to avoid
Even though you know
It weakens your leadership effectiveness
So you see
Fear is powerful
Strong enough to cause you to choose
Wrong over right as a leader

The solution is to face your fears

And how is this done
And can you do it
Without sinking in a pool of pain
Yes, yes, yes, you can

All you have to do is follow these six steps.
One, name one of your fears as a leader
Two, name your avoidance response to it
Three, name the ways this weakens your leadership effectiveness
Four, choose a response you know is more appropriate
Five, try the different response one time and see what happens
Six, repeat this process for other fears

And why should you want to
Face your fears as a leader
First, you’ll gain your power back
Second, you’ll be a better leader
Third, leading will be more fun

Not to mention other benefits along the way
Because you’ll tackle performance management issues
Face employee motivation problems quickly
Wrestle down change management difficulties

Finding the courage
To face your fears  
Is an urgent matter
Your unconscious is driving the leader in you
Habit has taken a hold
On the way you respond
To every situation
Where fear flashes its power
Giving you a queasy stomach
Causing you to lose sleep
Making you irritable

Is now the time for you to
Go ahead and act
And take care of yourself as a leader

If not now
When?

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Posted in Employee Performance, Executive Leadership | No Comments »

Beyond Wisdom

Monday, January 4th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Recap of Leadership Quick Tip for January 4, 2010: the narrow line that separates leaders is courage.

On which side of this line do you stand?

 

Courage falls into many arenas

You have it in some

Maybe not in others

Here a few to consider

 

Courage to understand your leadership self

After Martha’s thirty plus years in the corporate world

And Thad’s twenty plus consulting

We make this observation

 

There is a knowledge deficiency among leaders

It revolves around

A singular subject

Called self

 

Often you don’t see who you really are

Don’t have conscious awareness

Of your beliefs

Your fears

Your needs

Your values

 

This means you do not grasp

How much your unconscious stuff

Takes control of the steering wheel of your life

And how much that holds you back

 

Without this knowledge of self

You go through life

Like a puppet on a string

Your unconscious making you

Dance a jig to its own music

 

And you feel empty and unfilled

Not knowing what is gnawing at you

Intuitively sensing though 

That you absolutely can

Be better do better do more

As leaders

As spouses

As parents

As children

As friends

As volunteers

And more

 Courage for what is right

Maybe you have slipped into a quandary

Knowing the right thing to do

Yet not

And why

Fearing consequences

Mainly to self

Self looking more important

Taking priority over right

 

Holding onto the easy way out

Creating the illusion of better

Especially in the short run

 

But sooner or later you find

You can’t leave self behind

And in the end

Right always wins

In the end

Why wait

 

Courage is needed on another front too

 

Courage to stand up to bullies

We have our own theory about bullies

Who flash aggressive behavior

And use intimidating tactics

It is nothing more than a cover-up

For their tightly wrapped feelings

Of inferiority and insecurity

Protecting what they do not want known

About themselves

 

Ah and could they be projecting

Assuming others are laced

With the same feelings

Of insecurity and inferiority

As their own

 

The same with those

Who show their big egos

 

Seeing others cower

Watching them fail

Is not about others at all

It is about the self

About being threatened

Being found out

Not measuring up

 

Listen up everybody

Look at the real you

Smart and strong

Competent in countless ways

And secure in who you are

No backing down

Stand up and be counted

 

Not willing to be tough

Not willing to get

In dog fights with bullies

Holds you back

 

Being intimidated by anybody

Holds you back as a leader

 

 Bottom line

Yes leading is about wisdom

That is, having leadership knowledge and skills

Like how to motivate employees

Or make performance improvement plans work

Or maintain employee job satisfaction

But leadership also is about courage

Equal partner with knowledge and skills

Happy New Year…Martha Forlines and Thad Green

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