Archive for the ‘Employee Performance’ Category

Leadership Coaching: Workplace Conflict Causes Annoying Behavior

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Recap of Leader Quick Tip: The pain of conflict is a good thing

You’ve had a conflict.

It’s affecting the relationship and your work.

The other person is avoiding you and is unwilling to discuss the conflict.

He or she starts showing annoying behaviors:

1.       Acting like a crybaby

2.       Whining

3.       Pouting

4.       Being passive aggressive

5.       Bitching

6.       Fault finding

7.       Showing anger

These behaviors are a problem.

This is a good thing! It means a solution is wanted, but the person is not willing yet to try to resolve the conflict.

The annoying behaviors are signals of pain. The greater the pain, the more willing people are to deal with conflict, rather than keep avoiding it.

People don’t resolve conflict until they are ready. Pain gets them there.

The annoying behaviors mean you are a step closer to a solution.

There was a conflict. It hasn’t been resolved.

Now you’re fed up with the annoying behavior.

Here are things you want to say (but shouldn’t). It may make you feel better, but is sure to make the situation worse:

1.       Stop being a crybaby. Acting like that isn’t going to help.

2.       Stop whining. You’ll never get what you want.

3.       Stop pouting.  If you’re upset, speak up.

4.       Stop being passive-aggressive. You’re just making things worse.

5.       Stop bitching. You’re getting on my nerves.

6.       Stop finding fault with everything I do or I’m going to lock you in your office and throw away the key.

7.       Stop being mad all the time or I’m going to give you something to be mad about.

So, what should you do?

Most people have the wrong idea about resolving conflict.

It’s not about apologizing or compromising or solving the problem yourself.

Resolving conflict is about asking and listening.

It’s the easy way and the better way.

And remember, the one asking the questions is controlling the conversation. And that’s you.

Try this time-proven approach:

1.       Say “You seem upset about (name the conflict).” Stop. Listen.

2.       Ask “Can we talk about it?” Stop. Listen.

3.       Ask “What are you thinking and feeling?” Stop. Listen.

4.       Ask “What do you want me to do?” Stop. Listen.

5.       Ask “What are you willing to do?” Stop. Listen.

6.       Propose a solution. Stop. Listen.

7.       Reach an agreement. Hug and kiss, and get  back to work

Okay, so you’re saying, reaching an agreement is the hard part. Not really, if you follow the steps.

Many of you find it hard to ask questions.

More of you find it hard to ask a question and then stop, without saying anything else.

And listening can be the hardest part, hearing things you don’t want to hear. Being blamed or criticized or accused is hard to take without striking back.

When people are upset about a conflict, they mainly want to be heard, to let off steam, to get it off their chest.

When you will listen, you may find that the conflict simply dissolves.

We see this happen all the time in our leadership consulting, executive coaching, and employee engagement work.

Give it a try. You can make it work.

All the best to your success,

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Avoiding conflict has benefits!

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Recap of leader quick tip: The benefits of avoiding conflict hold a powerful grip

People avoid conflict for one basic reason . . . FEAR.

It’s the fear of what might happen.

This is powerful because “avoiding something you don’t want” is a huge relief . . . and it’s highly motivating.

Fear drives us and we’ll do most anything to avoid it.

Avoidance is a natural response to fear.

It doesn’t matter whether the “thing’ feared is real or imagined. The fear feels the same.

If trying to resolve conflict might turn sour, that’s enough to avoid it.

Avoiding is easier, and easier is better, because avoiding conflict keeps your fear in check.

Here are some of the benefits. If you avoid conflict, you will:

1.       Avoid feeling bad.

2.       Avoid feeling rejected.

3.       Avoid having to admit you were wrong.

4.       Avoid commitments you don’t want to make.

5.       Avoid honest feedback (receiving or giving it).

6.       Avoid accusations (getting or making them).

7.       Avoid anger (facing or having it).

8.       Avoid a hurtful experience (hurting or getting hurt).

9.       Avoid a damaged relationship (maybe not repairable).

10.    Avoid a potential explosion (by yourself or the other person).

In other words, when we avoid conflict, we avoid a lot of negative consequences.

So, we’re motivated to avoid.

And we’re motivated whether the consequences are real or imagined.

Either way, our fear is REAL.

Fear clouds our judgment, blinds us from the truth.

The truth is this: learning how to handle conflict is a better way to put your fear to rest.

Otherwise fear is only seconds away, always.

And this is what we see . . . in our leadership consulting, executive coaching, and employee engagement work.

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Seasons Greetings!

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Leadership trust requires more that good communication

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Recap of Leader Quick Tip: Trust requires more that good communication

You have to do some serious training
There is one thing you must teach your team.

You must hammer it home.Solutions That Work For Them

NOTHING IS CERTAIN BUT CHANGE.

You have to give this message concrete meaning.

And repetition is required.

Here are some examples.

“The plan for rolling out the new product has been finalized. Of course, plans always change. We’ll revise it based on what we learn during the implementation. ”

“We think the reorganization of the department is complete. But nothing is ever cast in stone. We’ll make some changes if we need to.”

“I’ve gotten approval on our budget for the new year. I’m hoping we don’t have any decreases, but that could happen.”

“I’ve been told there will be no more layoffs. But this is based on a lot of assumptions about the economy, the cost of raw materials, our revenue stream, and our profit margin, for example. If any of these things change, and they probable will, then we could be looking for ways to cut costs again.”

Use every opportunity to hammer the message home.

“This may change.”

“It likely will change.”

“Expect some changes.”

And it’s a good idea to pick out some alternative ways to say the same thing.

IF SOMETHING CAN CHANGE, IT PROBABLY WILL.

NOTHINGEVER STAYS THE SAME.

THINGS CHANGE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

When people don’t trust you, the consequences are like a bullet fired in a bank vault, especially in difficult times. And somebody is going to get hurt.

If trust is important to you, you must train your team. And repetition is the key.

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Motivation Train Jumps Tracks

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Recap of Leader Quick Tip: Is it time to get employee motivation on track?

The number one leadership challenge today is “keeping employees motivated and focused on results”, according to our latest survey.

Here are some typical reactions to this news, and the resulting response:

1.       “What’s new?”  and “My hands are tied” lead to an ignore the problem response.

2.       “I don’t have time to deal with it now” leads to procrastination.

3.       “I need to fix it” and “I need more data” both can lead to an action response.

If you’re having an action response, the direction you take should be a simple common sense approach.

You’ll want to assess the situation first, then plan a course of action based on what you find.

There are two steps to take:

1.       Assess the situation

2.       Then act on what you find

Assessing begins with asking people who will be honest with you, “What’s the motivation like here now?” Focus on the issue—employee motivation, engagement and employee satisfaction.

If the “asking” suggests a problem, then follow up by gathering more information to get a better handle on it.

You can do this either with a few in-depth interviews with selected individuals or surveys with selected teams.

When it’s time for action, you’ll be ahead of the game (in terms of both time and cost) if you choose the right way to survey or conduct your in-depth interviews.

Either way, the information gathering should uncover three things: where the motivation problems are (by individual), what is causing the problems, and possible solutions.

In other words, casual conversations or employee surveys won’t cut it. You might find out where the problems are, but you need more and you need it now.

This means targeting your interviews or surveys. Get to the employees or teams known or suspected to be poorly motivated and not focused on results.

In other words, you don’t need to interview everyone or conduct a 100% survey.

Go where you have the best chance of improving performance quickly—no skirting around the edges.

If you want to dance, save it for some live music Saturday night.

Dig in now and get the motivation train on track.

If you feel uncomfortable with this, get some executive coaching or go for some leadership consulting.

Whatever you do, remember that the “ignore” and “procrastination” responses ultimately lead to a train wreck.

Is that the kind of leader you want to be?

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Survey Results: Top 4 Leadership Challenges

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Here’s what people told us in a sampling of the 1900+ people who follow us on our leader quick tips, linked-in, facebook, and twitter.

The top four leadership challenges as of early November 2010 are:
1. Keeping employees motivated and focused on results.
2. Dealing with trust issues with their team.
3. Retention of high performers.
4. Leading effectively through change.

You can participate in this ongoing survey by clicking here

Knowing you’re not alone can give some comfort, but what you need are solutions!

Some of the top four leadership challenges are bound to show up where you work.

And these same challenges surely will rise to the surface during upcoming end-of-the-year performance reviews—those you’re conducting and the one you’ll have with your own manager.

leadership survey results
This is all the more reason to look for some simple and practical solutions.

So here’s what we’re going to do.

In each of the next four solutions for leader BLOGS, we’ll take one of the top four leadership challenges and share our thoughts on quick-and-easy, effective solutions you can use.

You can participate in this ongoing survey by clicking here

Be sure to stay tuned.

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Creativity Sleeps, but Where?

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

You don’t have to BE creative to be a leader.

But believing in the power of creative thinking can turn around your life as a leader.

Take the case of Chris Petersen, football coach at powerhouse Boise State.

His inspiration came from an unlikely place—bi-monthly meetings with a group of eight leaders that included a ballet dancer, a sheriff, and a software engineer.

chris-petersen

Prior to joining this group, he said, “We are not creative here. We are football coaches. We try to do the same thing over and over. It’s about routine.”

Then he changed his turn. “After meeting a few times, I had an epiphany. Bam! I started looking at things in a different way.”

Like many organizations, he said, “We need structure, we need order, we need schedules, and we need our system taught a certain way.”

Does that sound familiar?

Then he says, “But within that there needs to be a creativity to keep growing, to keep the energy and the enthusiasm.”

Three huge benefits for any leader!

So Petersen goes from “We are not creative here” to extolling the power of creative thinking.

How does he make it work?

It’s pretty simple actually. “He’s a master at asking questions. ‘How can we do it differently?’ ‘How can we do it better?’” says Nancy Napier, Boise State business professor who brought the group of eight together.

How do you get started? All you have to do is believe in the power of creative thinking.

How do you make it work? Look to those you lead. Show them you value creativity. Show them you value THEIR creativity. Get them engaged and watch the ideas flow.

All the best to your success,

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Does Your Belief about Employee Motivation Really Matter?

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Recap of Leader Quick Tip: Employee motivation, engagement, and performance can get confusing

Yes, extrinsic motivation often is effective. The danger is that it works just enough that it becomes easy to lose sight of the importance of intrinsic motivation. And, for many leaders, intrinsic motivation can be scary stuff.  It means going below the surface to find out what makes a person tick. So it’s easy for leaders to shy away from intrinsic motivation.  Also, if the leader’s own personal motivation is extrinsic factors, it is only natural to assume that others are motivated the same way. (This is another case of projection.) These are some of reasons why the value of intrinsic motivation goes untapped.

When it comes to using specific approaches (like fear, pressure, money, etc.), they work for some employees, not for others.

Only one person really knows what will motivate—the individual employee! Except . . .

Employees don’t always CONSCIOUSLY know what will motivate them. You may ask, but whatever they say off the top of their head probably isn’t it. Most people haven’t clearly sorted out what motivates them, so it takes some digging to find out.

If you’re going to dig (rather than assume everybody is motivated the same way), you want to have the right tools.

If you’d like more information about “the right tools,” go to www.beliefsysteminstitute.com or call Martha at 678.576.5207.

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Managers in the Hot Seat (Excerpt from LinkedIn Topic)

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Martha recently posted the following on LinkedIn for discussion and got some passionate responses.  Here are some excerpts:

Motivation management = creating the conditions required for motivation . . . for yourself or for those you lead. What are they for you? As you’d expect, this can get tricky. Why? Because we all are different (and thank goodness for that). We believe there are 3 primary conditions for motivation:

(1) confidence – “I can do it”

(2) trust – “I get what my performance deserves,” and

(3) satisfaction – “What I get is satisfying to me.”

Discussion respondent • Martha, I like the simple way you have positioned this, but those three conditions take in quite a range of knowledge and skill sets. Also, I am curious to learn more about #2, “I get what my performance deserves.” Could you explain more about what you mean? Does this include compensation, recognition, bonuses, and a simple thank you? What do you see as the driving force behind establishing that trust? I see trust as starting at the top and filtering down so everyone believes the mission and is involved in seeing it come to fruition. But when you use “get what my performance deserves,” I think it is more about the individual seeing what is in it for them. I don’t necessarily see the trust connection as a function of that.

Martha Forlines • Great points. Trust here means “Do I trust my manager to give me what my performance deserves?” This trust breaks down most clearly when the manager makes “promises” of things the employee wants, (like the items you listed) but does not deliver. Often a bigger issue for the high performer is when the manager does not have the courage to truly use discretion and give each employee what their performance truly deserves. However, there are other outcomes that the manager has control over that may not be part of that “promise,” but affects employee motivation.

Examples of these outcomes that may be viewed as negative are excessive overtime, work stress, insensitivity to work life balance, etc. We have a list of 49 workplace experience outcomes developed over the years that can be either motivators or de-motivators. So at the end of the day, the “what’s in it for me” is still a driver . . . people pursue personal payoffs!

Motivation Management


Discussion respondent • Thanks for clarifying your comments, Martha. I see this all the time, that a manager is not handling each employee as an individual and therefore negating any attempt to build trust. I believe you are right that “people pursue personal payoffs!” And I love the alliteration.

Discussion respondent • ”I get what my performance deserves” could not be stated better! This is the best motivational tool.

Martha Forlines • Unfortunately, many times managers don’t have the courage to follow through on this consistently.

Discussion respondent – Motivation is a balance between risk and reward… If you want to “take a chance”, you’re likely to be singled out as not conforming. That’s the risk of giving people what their performance deserves.

The better question is how do you motivate others that are not likely to take any risk? Management has to demonstrate! Unfortunately, you’re right. There are few self motivated managers willing to take “all out risk” and demonstrate. Most managers like their jobs and will not risk anything. Without good demonstration of “courage”, many are not willing to do more than management demonstrates.

Discussion respondent – I live in that realm and could write a book on the good/bad/and ugly associated with risk verses reward management.

Discussion respondent- You are aware that this is a real hot button topic for the safe management style individuals?

Martha Forlines – Yes, sad but true, too hot to handle for too many managers. The strong and courageous just have to lead the way.

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Are You Curious as to What’s Really Behind Employee Engagement?

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Leaders everywhere

Are talking about

The importance of engagement

Of having employees

Fully involved in

And enthusiastic about

Their work

We all get

The WHY of engagement

It’s the HOW

That stumps us

It’s simple really

Motivation is the key to engagement

It’s like the often used phrase

If you really want to know

What’s going on

Follow the money

In your case

If you want to know how to

Engage employees

Follow their motivation

Then you’ll know

How to engage them

Because motivation determines engagement

And more

Motivation is the fuel for performance . . . no gas, no go

When motivation sags below the enthusiastic line

Effort shows a corresponding decline

Causing performance to cough

Like an engine begging for fuel

fuel_gauge_analog

As a leader you have to wonder

How much unrealized potential

Is silently seeping away

Every second of every working day

In these turbulent and troubling times

Just imagine redirecting all of that unrealized potential

Like rechanneling fresh water into parched soil

Could you produce more

And what would happen to the wilted flower called profit?

Is your lost opportunity measured

In ounces or pounds or tons?


Please note… this is an excerpt from Martha Forlines and Thad Green’s new book, Inspiring Women…BECOMING Courageous, Wise Leaders, available here -  women’s leadership book