Posts Tagged ‘conscious awareness’

America’s “Most Wanted” Re-Solution for Leaders

Wednesday, January 4th, 2012 by Martha Forlines

Every failure gets you closer to success.

 

Each one gets you closer to giving up.

 

Which will you choose?

 

Choosers of success hold an edge!

 isaac_newton[1]

 

Recap of leader quick tip: You choose where failure leads

 

Herein is a clue for you

 

Behind the wheel of an automobile

 

A thought appears

 

Not at all clear

 

Sir Isaac Newton

 

Mathematician, scientist, philosopher

 

Somehow tied to you

 

If you’ll think of the great names

 

In the history of the world

 

Surviving centuries

 

Maybe a name or two

 

Will come to you

 

Artists and composers

 

Philosophers and astronomers

 

Scientists unraveling

 

Mysteries of the world

 

Slaves all to their passions and destinies

 

Forsaking all else

 

Discovering the kernel within

 

All of these

 

Just mere men

 

And women

 

If ever there was

 

A mere woman

 

And pictures of you

 

Wondering who you are

 

Who you really are

 

Who you will become

 

If you will listen to your heart

 

And follow your dreams

 

Not easy

 

This you know

 

Your life has told you so

 

But you can decide

 

Perhaps you will decide

 

To listen to your heart

 

And follow your dreams

 

But when?

 

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

 

P.S. This isn’t the kind of stuff you typically hear from leadership consultants and executives coaches, or in leadership training programs. This is the REAL THING!

Secrets to success will be revealed…Success 2012 virtual seminar

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011 by Martha Forlines

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Martha Forlines and Thad Green

The “jerk” at work

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011 by Martha Forlines

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react.” John Maxwell

 angryman1

Recap of leader quick tip: Everybody loses when leaders’ emotions get triggered and they react badly.

 

The 90% explains those often to referred to as the “jerk” at work.

 

Something happens and the ”jerk” reacts.  It actually becomes very predictable doesn’t it?

 

The reality is we all react to certain emotional triggers.

 

Reactions include:

  1. Harsh words
  2. Impatience
  3. Anger
  4. Defensiveness
  5. Aggressive behavior
  6. Criticism
  7. Retaliation
  8. Disgust
  9. Temper tantrums

 

When leaders (anyone really) react in these ways, everybody loses.

 

It doesn’t have to be like this.

 

All of these reactions have a COMMON CAUSE.

 

You’re in the doctor’s office, sitting on the examination table. He uses his little hammer-thingy and taps you just below the knee. Your leg jumps forward—a knee-jerk reaction. Good sign.

 

But when it comes to leadership behavior, knee-jerk reactions can spell all kinds of trouble.

 

Knee-jerk reactions are involuntary, out of our control.

 

We get angry, we show it.

 

We feel hurt, we fight back.

 

We hear criticized, we get defensive.

 

We feel impatient, we show impatience.

 

We get disappointed, we use harsh words.

 

We screw something up, we blame somebody else.

 

So what’s the common thread behind these reactions?

 

The COMMON CAUSE of reacting negatively is this: we have given up choice in the way we react.

 

If something happens, we can choose to be angry about it, or not. There is a choice.

 

If we get angry, we can choose to show it, or not. There is a choice!

 

As long as we deny choice, then there is none. 

 

So what can we do?

 

This starting point is this: identify what emotional triggers you react negatively to.

 

  1. Something a person says or does that upsets you
  2. Events that are stressful
  3. Things you say or do yourself
  4. Long-held fears, pain, and thoughts that stir up emotions
  5. Something people say or do to each other.

 

The best way to gain control and have choice is to identify where you are giving up choice now.

 

More in the next Leader Quick Tip and BLOG about gaining mastery over the way we react (90%) to what happens to us (10%).

 

And much more if you choose to attend our upcoming Self Mastery for Leaders workshop. Go here for more details.

 

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Are you a conscious or unconscious hijacker?

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green
 
Recap of this week’s Leader Quick Tip: It’s easy to hijack the confidence of those we lead.

Do you ever see yourself in your children, like we do? It’s like looking in a mirror…scary, isn’t it? But seeing ourselves in others is a great way to increase our conscious awareness.

Maybe you’ll see yourself in the story that follows. It’s about how to motivate employees (or not). It also is about employee job satisfaction (or not). And it shows an opportunity for employee performance improvement.

As you read about this employee, try to put yourself in her shoes, particularly how she feels.

LeAnn immediately went into a tailspin when she read the instructions her new manager, Dwight, had left for her.

The note was clipped to a Manila file folder.  “LeAnn, take care of this.”  Inside were some sketchy instructions scrawled about a customer complaint. 

She walked to Bob’s cubicle.  He was her peer and best friend at the office.  She showed him the note and file.

“Bob, this is typical Dwight.  A handful of words, a truckload of unanswered questions.  What does ‘take care of this’ mean?  What exactly is the customer’s problem?  What am I supposed to do?  By when? ” Bob nodded.

LeAnn remembered her last manager.  “When Beth assigned work, she was thorough and precise.  She was patient and I always felt comfortable asking questions. Everything was completely clear before I tackled a new assignment.”

She sighed.  “Dwight is so different.  He thinks he’s put it all in writing, just like I like.  He honestly believes he’s been clear, that I’ll know exactly what to do.  People like Dwight don’t understand people like me.  LeAnn waved the note and file.  “This is one of our biggest customers.  If I foul this up, it’ll be a disaster.  What should I do, Bob?”

“Use his voice mail.  Tell him you need to talk.  He’ll get back to you.”

“I don’t feel comfortable doing that.  He expects me to be able to handle things like this.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, but what if I don’t?  What’ll happen to me then?”

The next morning LeAnn stared out the window.  She had not gotten any work done since the day before.  Cars raced down the interstate highway like the questions in her mind.  She had a headache. 

LeAnn eventually tackled the assignment and muddled through it.  She stayed in a frenzy the entire time, doubting herself every step of the way.  The customer, however, never sensed her anxiety and was pleased with the way she resolved the complaint.  Dwight was pleased, too.  He never knew how taxing his simple request had been on LeAnn, never realized how much of her time had been consumed by it.

Unclear expectations always cause frustration, doubt, and wasted time, and often put performance in jeopardy.

The problem is this: as leaders we do hijack the confidence of those we lead, whether we are aware of it or not.  All of us have our own unique way of doing it. Do you have a clear picture of yours?

The solution is this: conscious awareness. You can become consciously aware of the consequences of your words and actions on the confidence of those we lead. They feel your impact. Can you see it?

How urgent is this issue for you?  Those you lead know.   Do you?
You may say, “The people I lead need to get a grip on themselves. They should adapt to me, to my leadership style.” You lead, they follow. Yes, it is a two-way street. Are you doing your part?

Lift up confidence. It’s one of your performance management tools. It yields employee job satisfaction. It’s an answer to the question of how to motivate employees and it results in employee performance improvement.  Lifting confidence rather than hijacking will pay off for you.

For more information, you can read Motivation, Beliefs, and Organizational Transformation by Thad Green and Ray Butkus. You can find it at amazon.com along with Motivation Management.