Posts Tagged ‘leadership’

The “jerk” at work

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011 by Martha Forlines

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react.” John Maxwell

 angryman1

Recap of leader quick tip: Everybody loses when leaders’ emotions get triggered and they react badly.

 

The 90% explains those often to referred to as the “jerk” at work.

 

Something happens and the ”jerk” reacts.  It actually becomes very predictable doesn’t it?

 

The reality is we all react to certain emotional triggers.

 

Reactions include:

  1. Harsh words
  2. Impatience
  3. Anger
  4. Defensiveness
  5. Aggressive behavior
  6. Criticism
  7. Retaliation
  8. Disgust
  9. Temper tantrums

 

When leaders (anyone really) react in these ways, everybody loses.

 

It doesn’t have to be like this.

 

All of these reactions have a COMMON CAUSE.

 

You’re in the doctor’s office, sitting on the examination table. He uses his little hammer-thingy and taps you just below the knee. Your leg jumps forward—a knee-jerk reaction. Good sign.

 

But when it comes to leadership behavior, knee-jerk reactions can spell all kinds of trouble.

 

Knee-jerk reactions are involuntary, out of our control.

 

We get angry, we show it.

 

We feel hurt, we fight back.

 

We hear criticized, we get defensive.

 

We feel impatient, we show impatience.

 

We get disappointed, we use harsh words.

 

We screw something up, we blame somebody else.

 

So what’s the common thread behind these reactions?

 

The COMMON CAUSE of reacting negatively is this: we have given up choice in the way we react.

 

If something happens, we can choose to be angry about it, or not. There is a choice.

 

If we get angry, we can choose to show it, or not. There is a choice!

 

As long as we deny choice, then there is none. 

 

So what can we do?

 

This starting point is this: identify what emotional triggers you react negatively to.

 

  1. Something a person says or does that upsets you
  2. Events that are stressful
  3. Things you say or do yourself
  4. Long-held fears, pain, and thoughts that stir up emotions
  5. Something people say or do to each other.

 

The best way to gain control and have choice is to identify where you are giving up choice now.

 

More in the next Leader Quick Tip and BLOG about gaining mastery over the way we react (90%) to what happens to us (10%).

 

And much more if you choose to attend our upcoming Self Mastery for Leaders workshop. Go here for more details.

 

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

When desire and achievement collide

Tuesday, August 16th, 2011 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

giveup-sm

Achievement always fulfills some desires, and precludes others.

 

This collision is a growing concern among leaders.

 

The concern begins with a gnawing anxiety about what may happen.

 

Both good and bad come with achievement. When the bad outweighs the good, reality sets in and dissatisfaction shows up.

 

What’s a leader to do so achievement and desire do not collide?

 

Leaders can relate to this collusion between achievement and desire.

 

Achievement always leads to something, lots of things usually. Some are good, others are not so good.

 

Achievement is like a family vacation.

You got away from the office, but your mother-in-law came along.

You got to read some, but not enough because a dreaded cousin and her best (and obnoxious) friend visited for three days, uninvited.

You had fun with the kids, but you had to entertain them too much.

The food was great, but the weather wasn’t.

You got to do some things you wanted to do, but spent too much time pleasing others.

It was good to “get away,” but you had to settle too many arguments.

Nobody got sick or hurt, but you were bombarded with emails from the office with questions to answer, problems to solve, and decisions to make.

You were able to decompress, but then it was time to come home.

 

So how is achievement like a vacation?

 

First, you know on the front end what will please you, and what won’t.

 

Second, you can anticipate what could happen, and take action to insure much of the good, and prevent much of the bad.

 

Third, you can see how much good is likely to happen, and how much bad, and which way the scales will tip.

 

Fourth, you can make better decisions, if you anticipate and avoid unpleasant surprises.

 

In other words, look before you leap, so achievement and desire don’t collide.

 

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Procrastination pays off

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011 by Martha Forlines

 enjoywork

It’s not the decisions you make that kill you, it’s the ones you don’t make, or make too late, that hold you back.

 

Sure, there’s a time and place for procrastinating, but you better know what you’re doing.

 

If you know when to procrastinate, procrastination can really pay off!!!

 

Otherwise, you’re asking for trouble.

 

You should procrastinate on decision making WHEN:

  1. You’re angry.
  2. You’re too tired to think clearly.
  3. You need more information (and you can get it and get it quickly and without too much cost).
  4. You need to prepare others for the decision.
  5. You feel rushed.
  6. You’re about to compromise your values.
  7. You’re trying to make everybody happy.
  8. You desperately want to please one or more key people.
  9. You feel like you’re being pushed into the decision.
  10. You’re not confident you’re making a good decision.
  11. Your intuition is shouting “wait.”

 

If any of these conditions exist, hold off on making the decision, not too long though, but give yourself a little more time before deciding.

 

If you can make a better decision tomorrow, make it tomorrow!

 

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Good ideas are worth a dime a dozen

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011 by Martha Forlines

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Yes, good ideas are worth a dime a dozen. No more, literally.

 

And why?

 

Because good ideas have no meaning, no value unless implemented.

 

And most never are.

 

And why is it that?

 

Why do so many lay on the shelf, collecting dust, never seeing the light of day?

 

There is one main reason leaders shelve good ideas.

 

The biggest reason good ideas are never implemented is that leaders are looking for a better one, forgetting that “good is good enough,” forgetting that a good idea implemented is better than a better one waiting to be found, forgetting that the “best” idea comes at a great cost, namely that it is found too late, or never found at all, and decisions go unmade, action goes wanting, problems go unsolved.

 

Looking for a better idea is the cornerstone of procrastination and indecision.

 

This is not a solid foundation for leadership.

 

Being decisive and acting quickly are the hallmarks of great leadership; perfection, maximizing, and striving for the best are not.

 

Get realistic and get going. Find a good solution, make it work, and tackle the next issue on your plate.

 

Just remember: when it comes to ideas, good is good enough!

 

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Creativity Sleeps, but Where?

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

You don’t have to BE creative to be a leader.

But believing in the power of creative thinking can turn around your life as a leader.

Take the case of Chris Petersen, football coach at powerhouse Boise State.

His inspiration came from an unlikely place—bi-monthly meetings with a group of eight leaders that included a ballet dancer, a sheriff, and a software engineer.

chris-petersen

Prior to joining this group, he said, “We are not creative here. We are football coaches. We try to do the same thing over and over. It’s about routine.”

Then he changed his turn. “After meeting a few times, I had an epiphany. Bam! I started looking at things in a different way.”

Like many organizations, he said, “We need structure, we need order, we need schedules, and we need our system taught a certain way.”

Does that sound familiar?

Then he says, “But within that there needs to be a creativity to keep growing, to keep the energy and the enthusiasm.”

Three huge benefits for any leader!

So Petersen goes from “We are not creative here” to extolling the power of creative thinking.

How does he make it work?

It’s pretty simple actually. “He’s a master at asking questions. ‘How can we do it differently?’ ‘How can we do it better?’” says Nancy Napier, Boise State business professor who brought the group of eight together.

How do you get started? All you have to do is believe in the power of creative thinking.

How do you make it work? Look to those you lead. Show them you value creativity. Show them you value THEIR creativity. Get them engaged and watch the ideas flow.

All the best to your success,

Martha Forlines and Thad Green

Are You Curious as to What’s Really Behind Employee Engagement?

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Leaders everywhere

Are talking about

The importance of engagement

Of having employees

Fully involved in

And enthusiastic about

Their work

We all get

The WHY of engagement

It’s the HOW

That stumps us

It’s simple really

Motivation is the key to engagement

It’s like the often used phrase

If you really want to know

What’s going on

Follow the money

In your case

If you want to know how to

Engage employees

Follow their motivation

Then you’ll know

How to engage them

Because motivation determines engagement

And more

Motivation is the fuel for performance . . . no gas, no go

When motivation sags below the enthusiastic line

Effort shows a corresponding decline

Causing performance to cough

Like an engine begging for fuel

fuel_gauge_analog

As a leader you have to wonder

How much unrealized potential

Is silently seeping away

Every second of every working day

In these turbulent and troubling times

Just imagine redirecting all of that unrealized potential

Like rechanneling fresh water into parched soil

Could you produce more

And what would happen to the wilted flower called profit?

Is your lost opportunity measured

In ounces or pounds or tons?


Please note… this is an excerpt from Martha Forlines and Thad Green’s new book, Inspiring Women…BECOMING Courageous, Wise Leaders, available here -  women’s leadership book

Traditional Employee Engagement Strategies Are Flawed

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green

Recap of Leader Quick Tip: Traditional employee engagement strategies are flawed

Let’s say (just for the sake of understanding the big flaw) that you’re not truly engaged—that is, YOU aren’t truly committed physically, emotionally, and intellectually to your work.

Now, how many things have to change for you to get “true engagement?” Exactly what would have to change? Hmmm . . .

And suppose the execs above you announce an employee engagement initiative. They’ve picked out 10 to 15 things to address to get the workforce truly engaged—a magic generic formula.

How many of the 10 to 15 would you guess are on the list YOU made?

And what’s the likelihood you’ll ever get the 10 to 15 anyway, given the way things usually are implemented due to blasé attitudes and lack of accountability?

How does this make you feel?

You are a leader. So if you feel this way, how must those below you feel?employee engagement strategies are flawed

So what is a leader to do?

Look at the strategy. It’s all based on the false assumption that everybody is the same, that everybody will be more engaged if someone does the same 10 to 15 things for (or to) them.

Well it just isn’t so. The reality is that you’re not like the guy in the office or cubicle next to you. You’re not like your boss. You’re not like the people on your team.

Sure there may be some sameness, but the truth is— everybody is different.

The workforce will never be truly engaged until leaders recognize and manage to these differences.


Martha Forlines and Thad Green are leadership consultants with BSI, an Atlanta leadership consulting firm. We offer leadership solutions for increasing employee engagement and performance. Contact Us

Want to solve the leadership puzzle?

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green
 
Recap of this week’s  Leader Quick Tip: There are three critical pieces to the leadership puzzle… confidence, courage and compassion.

It ain’t easy, this thing called leadership!

You can read or hear or talk about leadership, and it sounds simple. But when you come face to face with a tough decision, or difficult employee, easy it’s not!

Have you ever asked yourself why?

Leadership is complicated for most of us. That’s a fact. There are pieces of the puzzle that we don’t know about, or forget about, or don’t quite know how to go about making them fit into our own leadership style.

Maybe you need to get a better handle on the critical pieces of the leadership puzzle: confidence, courage, and compassion.

Confidence is the belief that you can do what needs to be done. Confidence is required to move swiftly as a leader. Being unsure causes you to question yourself, to have second thoughts, to hesitate. Those you lead see your every move. They sense your uncertainty. Everyone finds it easier to follow a leader who is sure of herself.

courage-smCourage is doing what must be done. For example, you may have the confidence that you can tell an underperforming employee there will be no pay raise, and to do so in an appropriate way. However, if your courage is not strong, you may many not give this person what his performance deserves. Instead, you decide a modest pay raise is appropriate. You make him happy, and in doing so, you tick off your high performers. Go ahead and face it. Leadership requires courage. When a leader has courage, people want to follow her.

Compassion means showing kindness, consideration, and respect. Can you sense its importance in this example? You can give constructive feedback harshly, or you can give it with compassion. Which works better? Compassion always wins out. People want to follow a leader when she shows compassion.

The bottom line is this: those you lead will gladly follow . . . when you lead with confidence, courage, and compassion. It’s a truism!

Where do YOU stand on these three pieces of the leadership puzzle?

Let us know your thoughts about this week’s BLOG by leaving a comment.  To leave a comment, click on the title of the blog post (above), scroll down and you will see the comment section.

Recap from this week’s Quick Tip…

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009 by Martha Forlines & Thad Green
 
Wonder why pressure backfires?  Pressure is not a sound leadership principle. 

Leader Is As Leader Does

The life of a leader is not black and white, like an old-time picture show.  But it has a clearer, sharper focus when we remember all that we already know about how to lead.  Here is a story to flesh out the meaning of this point and give you a good feel for where you stand.

Preston Turner skipped lunch as usual and hurried to make a 1:30 appointment.  It had been a long day already.  “Why did I volunteer for this interview?” he muttered to himself as he re-tied his tie. 

Alice Johnson stood, smiling, hand out.  “Thanks for granting me this interview, Mr. Turner. This is my last paper and in a few weeks I’ll have my journalism degree.” she said, but he did not hear her. 

“My dad said to tell you hello.”

He frowned and cocked his head to the left.  “Do I know your dad?”

“Bill Johnson.  You played high school football together.  He’s kept up with you over the years.”

“Book-worm Bill?  Second string quarterback?  Married the homecoming queen?”

“That’s him, and my mom.  Still in love.”

He was already saying, “Well, I’ll be darned.  Your dad was smart.  I guess he’s successful now.”

“Not by most standards.  He could have been.  He’s a writer.  Had a chance to go to Hollywood as a screenwriter, but he wasn’t willing to move the family out there and wasn’t willing to be away from us.  In my book he’s the most successful person I know.  He’s comfortable with himself, likes his work, loves his family, has balance in his life.  How about you?  Are you successful?”

He shifted in his chair, took his eyes off her and said “By conventional standards I suppose I am.”

“I understand that you are one of the key players running the company now.  What’s been the secret in getting to the top?”

“There is so much pressure in corporate America now.  And not enough time to really manage anymore.   The pressure comes down on me and I pass it on to others.  I communicate the goals and expect the cream to rise to the top.  Good people step forward and get the job done.  It seems like the greater the pressure, the better people perform.”

“So what you’re saying is that you got to the top because you put pressure on people?”

“That’s not exactly the way I’d put it, but you’ve summed up the basic approach.”

“Doesn’t that eventually take its toll on people?”

“Sure, but that’s just the way things are now.”

“Who is the best leader you’ve ever been around?”

“That’s easy.  My high school football coach, Coach . . .”

“Mason.  That’s what my dad says, too.  Why was he so good?”

“After the end of the year, he called all the seniors in, reminded us why we’d had a championship season, and gave us words of wisdom for the future.  He said three things mattered.  First, you have to help people believe in themselves.  Second, they have to trust you to give them what they deserve.  Third . . .”

“Third, remember that everybody’s different, that what’s satisfying to one may not be to another.” 

Preston Turner was taken aback.  These were Coach Mason’s exact words. 

“My dad lives those three principles every day, at home and at work.”

She flipped back through her notepad, and said, “Mr. Turner, do you live them, too?”

He did not answer, and yet he knew he had answered by his silence.