“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react.” John Maxwell

Recap of leader quick tip: Everybody loses when leaders’ emotions get triggered and they react badly.
The 90% explains those often to referred to as the “jerk” at work.
Something happens and the ”jerk” reacts. It actually becomes very predictable doesn’t it?
The reality is we all react to certain emotional triggers.
Reactions include:
- Harsh words
- Impatience
- Anger
- Defensiveness
- Aggressive behavior
- Criticism
- Retaliation
- Disgust
- Temper tantrums
When leaders (anyone really) react in these ways, everybody loses.
It doesn’t have to be like this.
All of these reactions have a COMMON CAUSE.
You’re in the doctor’s office, sitting on the examination table. He uses his little hammer-thingy and taps you just below the knee. Your leg jumps forward—a knee-jerk reaction. Good sign.
But when it comes to leadership behavior, knee-jerk reactions can spell all kinds of trouble.
Knee-jerk reactions are involuntary, out of our control.
We get angry, we show it.
We feel hurt, we fight back.
We hear criticized, we get defensive.
We feel impatient, we show impatience.
We get disappointed, we use harsh words.
We screw something up, we blame somebody else.
So what’s the common thread behind these reactions?
The COMMON CAUSE of reacting negatively is this: we have given up choice in the way we react.
If something happens, we can choose to be angry about it, or not. There is a choice.
If we get angry, we can choose to show it, or not. There is a choice!
As long as we deny choice, then there is none.
So what can we do?
This starting point is this: identify what emotional triggers you react negatively to.
- Something a person says or does that upsets you
- Events that are stressful
- Things you say or do yourself
- Long-held fears, pain, and thoughts that stir up emotions
- Something people say or do to each other.
The best way to gain control and have choice is to identify where you are giving up choice now.
More in the next Leader Quick Tip and BLOG about gaining mastery over the way we react (90%) to what happens to us (10%).
And much more if you choose to attend our upcoming Self Mastery for Leaders workshop. Go here for more details.
Martha Forlines and Thad Green







Courage
